


Little Do You Know

by socialite



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: Communication Failure, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Jealousy, M/M, everyone fails in this, maybe just talk it out next time
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-28
Updated: 2021-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-12 19:53:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,545
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29764755
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/socialite/pseuds/socialite
Summary: Given an opportunity to find out exactly what your friends think about you, unfiltered: Would you take the chance or leave and run?Fortune has a way to make things happen for Charles but with no choice to opt out, you bet there is going to be more than he bargained for.
Relationships: Charles Leclerc/Max Verstappen, Lando Norris/Carlos Sainz Jr
Comments: 28
Kudos: 82





	1. Honestly

**Author's Note:**

> This is all completely made up and fictional. None of it is true. If you are - or know - one of the people used in this fic as base for a character: Please do not continue reading. Thank you. 
> 
> I don't really know where I am going with this yet, it has been hard getting back into writing. This is me trying. I hope you enjoy it anyway. Any and all comments are appreciated. 
> 
> I may add more characters or pairings as I go along.

Some say change is the only constant in life. 

Charles always found those words to be true and he constantly worked towards taking whatever life threw at him and finding the tiniest spark of positivity he could use to take the ever changing circumstances and use them to his advantage. 

Starting a new season with a brand new teammate was a challenge but it was a challenge Charles was unafraid to accept, despite missing Sebastian by his side even weeks after he adjusted to a new, grueling schedule with long hours at the factory and juggling testing the new car and trying to get to know Carlos better. 

Their ways had crossed before, so Charles had known Carlos for a long time but he couldn’t remember ever giving the other man much thought beyond making sure to defend against him on track and giving him a smile and nod in acknowledgement when he passed the other man in the paddock. He’d never been more than a fellow driver to Charles. As far as he knew, they didn’t share too many interests, so they had not naturally gravitated towards one another to become friends. There was mutual respect though, so Charles was hopeful it would turn out okay in the end.

Somehow, even after spending a lot of time together in the past months, Charles couldn’t feel himself relax around the Spaniard yet. They both danced around one another with exaggerated politeness and small talk but neither of them seemed ready to risk revealing more personal details about themselves and open up enough to allow for any real connection. They were both a bit scared the other would use the information against them in the end. No driver got into F1 without making a few bad experiences with that kind of thing, so trust was hard to win and even harder to keep. 

Charles and Carlos were sipping on tea and coffee respectively, enjoying the perks of the Ferrari hospitality while waiting for practice to be cancelled entirely due to the heavy rain they’d had all day so far. The dark, heavy clouds did not make it look like it was letting up, so it was only a matter of time until it was confirmed that they would not get to put in a single lap for the day. At last they were informed of the changes and Carlos looked up from his phone that he’d been looking at in silence for the past couple of minutes. The moody frown on his tanned face made room for a mischievous smile.

“I think I’m gonna go surprise Lando! Do you want to come with?”

Charles was pleased to note that at least he was not the only one putting in effort into trying to get to know his teammate better and changing the cordial but somewhat tense atmosphere between the drivers for Scuderia Ferrari. The rules had been adjusted when vaccinations became mandatory for everyone on the grid, so slowly but surely they were all allowed to mingle and interact more again. Charles tried not to think about the implications that Carlos would rather go see his ex-teammate than to continue hanging out with his new one. Carlos was trying, right? Given the chance, Charles would also prefer to hang out with Seb. Before he could dwell on that, he pushed any thought of the past away as quickly as possible.

“What, do you want to sneak in at McLaren and hide in his driver’s room? I guess I could catch up with Daniel, actually.”

Charles was bored out of his mind, and with a lack of better things to do, he decided to just tag along and accept the rare invitation when Carlos extended it. If he secretly hated Charles, he would just state he was leaving and not invite him. He had not really talked to Daniel much since the season had started and Lando was a safe bet to keep a gaming console in his driver’s room, so it wouldn’t be the worst way to pass the time. It had nothing to do with his desire to be universally liked. He was making good progress on that after all. People could hate him. It was not an issue. It was just a personal choice. The wrong choice, yes, but people were all free to make their own mistakes.

“Oooh, I like the idea, Charles!” Carlos reached over to slap his shoulder playfully before he got up. “We should change into different clothes and then meet up outside!”

Charles looked down at his shirt to see if he had dropped any yogurt on it but he found it was still in pristine condition.  
Carlos seemed to have read his thought process and he laughed out loud with a slight shake of his head. 

“I mean, feel free to stay in the Ferrari red but then I can guarantee it takes about four seconds for everyone to notice you and send a message about our presence to the McLaren Group chat… So much for sneaking in and surprising Lando!”

Charles’ face grew hot when Carlos laughed at him and spelled it out to him like he would to a kid. He was right of course, Charles just hadn’t really thought about it that way before. He rubbed the back of his neck with his right hand and gave Carlos an awkward smile and a nod. 

Carlos had thought his plan through much better. He shifted his armchair a little closer to Charles, who was waiting to see what else he would do. Carlos toed off his sneakers and barely waited for Charles’ permission before he put his feet up and rested them on Charles’ thighs. He was still holding on to his phone and held it up for Charles to see. 

“This’ll be great! Just keep drinking your tea and look at your phone, I’ll make a story for Instagram! Lando will think we’re busy and he won’t expect us to come over!”

Charles was not too thrilled about the sudden physical contact but he played along and even posted a picture of his own because Carlos was wearing a ridiculous pair of socks with dinosaurs on them and the fans would go crazy over the banter. Carlos laughed when he saw the photo on his feed and liked it instantly.

“Alright, see you in a bit!”

***

On the way over to complete their mission, Carlos shared a few funny stories from his time at McLaren and updated Charles on how many people he had messaged and let in on their plan to ensure they would make it to Lando’s room without a fuss. Charles was reluctant to admit it was a bit impressive how well it worked when it took no time at all until they found themselves crammed into the tiniest driver’s room ever with the door shut firmly behind them. 

“So… Where exactly did you expect us to hide in here?”

Charles lowered his voice when he asked his teammate because the walls seemed to be made of cardboard and every word spoken outside the room filtered through like there was no barrier at all. His eyes roamed around the messy room but neither the armchair in the corner nor the massage bed were great hiding spots. There really was not much more in there, so maybe they’d just wait around for Lando to return and not jump-scare him randomly. 

“Your hips are quite narrow, I think you could fit in there!”

Carlos reached over and pulled open a cabinet door right next to Charles that he had not even noticed being there before. Charles looked at the tiny, confined space that only contained one of Lando’s jackets dangling from a hanger. Then he looked back at Carlos. Then back at the suggested hiding place.

“Really? You want to push me into the closet?”

Charles found this a prime opportunity to see if Carlos would pick up on the double-entendre but if he did, he did not react to it. Maybe he just did not see the irony or he did not expect Charles to say things like this on purpose. Carlos merely raised his left eyebrow at Charles and gestured exaggeratedly. Charles sighed and went ahead to find a somewhat comfortable position in the confined space. He pressed himself against the back wall of the closet and slid down to sit down with his knees pulled in close to his body so the door could close. His shoulders touched the sides on either side of him and Charles had to take a deep breath or two to get used to his surroundings.

“Don’t close the door all the way, I need air!” 

His voice did not sound as steady as he would have liked but Carlos nodded seriously and did not seem intent on torturing Charles. He nodded and assured Charles it would all be fine in no time at all. It was just a matter of minutes.

“He should get here soon. I’ll hang up the towel over the glass door to the shower and hide in there. It’ll be great!” 

With the closet door closed almost all the way, Charles could not see what was going on in the room but a tiny sliver of light came in and kept his claustrophobia at bay. 

Carlos kept still in his hiding spot, so the only noise Charles could hear for the moment was the commotion from the McLaren team walking around in the hallway behind the closet. Lando and Daniel were not known for doing anything silently, so when they approached their driver’s rooms, Charles could already hear them from a distance. He frowned a bit when he made out a third voice among them though. That was a bit unexpected.

“You two go ahead and set up a game, I’ll shower and then come over to smash you two at Mario Kart! Watch out Lando, Verstappen is a dirty cheater!”

Charles heard a smack and then Daniel’s cackling faded off a little but he could still be heard, even in the other ‘room’. The structures of the mobile units really didn’t have much to offer in terms of privacy but that was the same for every team.

“You better keep it down in the shower, Dan! We don’t want to hear any filth, Lando is young and innocent!”

Max shouted when he and Lando came into the room and both found a spot to sit down and hang out together. He was aware Daniel would still be hearing them as well which was confirmed by more spluttering laughter and a good-natured: “Screw you!”

“You wish!”

Max called back and then seemed to give up on communicating further with the Australian when water started running. 

“Soo, talking about dirty cheaters then…” Max went on, quiet now but still loud enough for Charles to make out every word from his hideout.

“Do you mean Carlos and his 'Ferrari Friend'? Cause I don’t give a shit! He can get foot rubs from Leclerc whenever he wants. Good for him! Great use of the extra free time.”

Lando’s reply came out clipped and so exaggeratedly casual that Charles knew it was fake. He recognized the tone from Lando’s countless streams whenever he was trying to make out like he was not phased but was really raging inside and trying desperately to win whatever game he was playing. The frustration was palpable and Charles bit his lip as he tried to remember if Carlos had said anything about when to jump out and reveal they were there. It seemed like a good time now but when the topic of Lando and Max’s conversation registered with Charles, he stilled completely.

Max snorted and it sounded like he was opening a fresh bottle of water, first a low click and then the fizzing of carbon dioxide escaping from the liquid. 

“Sure you don’t mind at all… You have only sent me every single interview clip about how much time they are spending together! Seems perfectly healthy to me.”

Charles waited out the silence but it didn’t seem like Carlos was planning to reveal himself either. Maybe he, too, wanted to know where this conversation was heading. It felt wrong but Charles did not know what else to do but wait for a better moment and then to hopefully laugh it off. There was a thrill in having the opportunity to hear what these two people they considered friends truly thought about them.

“I mean if it was literally anyone else, right? I’d be fine. Probably. But Charles is just—“

Lando struggled a little to get out what he wanted to say and what exactly he thought Charles was but Max chimed in with a few ideas of his own to complete the sentence his friend had started:

“A slut? Easy? Too pretty and knows it and uses it to his advantage?”

Charles waited for any indication that Max was joking but the only thing that became more and more clear to Charles was the blood rushing to his face and his heart nearly exploding in his chest. Was this how Max thought of him? Lando? Who else?

“If only he weren’t so fucking clingy as well! I bet Seb is super happy to finally have his peace… Must be fucking exhausting to have Charles around all day, right? Not that Carlos seems to mind… I mean I see how he’d go for the guy, but damn! Do you really think Charles is that pretty? Or that he’d sleep with Carlos?”

Everything Lando said in reply seemed to just agree with Max’s earlier assessment of Charles. The last question was very revealing as to why exactly Lando was so bitter about all of it but that did not mean it hurt any less to hear. Charles could taste copper and he tried to relax his jaw and not bite down on his bottom lip any harder than he already had. This was turning into a nightmare so fast, he had no idea what to do. He just wanted out of the situation but there was no easy way out.

“Me??” Max checked in with Lando and then went on to respond, “I don’t know, man. Personally, I think he looks dead in all the promotional photos but that is not stopping anyone. Armani still gave him a deal...”

There was another pause, like Max was thinking about something. He whispered his next statement, most likely to try and keep it from getting through to Daniel.

“Dan will never tell me what the fuck he did with Charles, the whole secretive ‘what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas’ kind of bullshit. I bet he just hit it and quit it though...”

Max trailed off as the water in the next room was shut off and he likely figured he needed to stop talking about Daniel at all unless he wanted to be overheard by the man in question. Lando remained silent for about a minute and then brought up another topic in relation.

“I asked George again about that sauna story he teased a while back but he wouldn’t say what happened and to ask Charles if we wanted to know.”

Max only groaned in response and opened his water bottle again to sip from. Charles heard a gulp in the background while Lando spoke up again. 

“Whatever. He can have Carlos. I fucking hate that he’s got it that easy! He gets away with everything! If not the whole FIA, at least getting on your knees for Todt junior seems to do the trick. Made it pretty far as a mediocre driver with a sob story, right? And now he will just get Carlos to agree to be second driver by the promise of a good time and stupid fucking insta stories!”

It was getting harder to concentrate and Charles nearly jumped in surprise when a drop of water hit his trembling hands, since he had not been the one to hold a bottle. He was the one to be spoken about in a completely unacceptable way though, so his mind and body were reacting accordingly, it seemed. He angrily wiped at his face and didn’t even care if the movement created noise. Charles had never heard variations of the accusations before. He regularly checked his mentions on twitter after all. He was not a stranger to hurtful shit being thrown his way. It was new to hear it from people he had trusted though. People who actually knew him. People he had considered his friends. He could no longer follow the conversation. Dizziness set in and Charles’ clammy fingers struggled to tug on the neckline of his shirt in a desperate attempt to breathe easier. He could not afford to hyperventilate now but he was getting closer and closer to losing it entirely. He needed to leave and this time hide for real. He did not want anyone to see him and least of all have Lando and Max see how much their words had hurt him. He questioned every interaction he ever had with either one of them and worst of all, he wondered if they were not alone with their perception of him. 

Daniel had returned to the room and he was entirely unimpressed with the turn the conversation had taken in his absence. He predicted he was not the only one who would take offense to the nature of the discussion.

“Are you two out of your fucking mind? If I could hear all of this shit in the next room, who else do you think might have heard this just passing by?!”

Silence fell over the room once more and that was when the fidgeting in the closet finally registered with the men in the room. Nobody dared to move for a few seconds, or say another word, no matter at what volume. Carlos decided to reveal himself at last. He tore the towel down from the glass door to throw it in Lando’s face when he stepped out of the shower with determination. None of his original excitement to see his ex teammate remained and everything from his body language to the way he spoke to his friend exposed how disgusted he felt about everything he had just witnessed.

“Surprise,”  
He mumbled with a disbelieving shake of his head. He stared Lando down for a moment and then turned to pull the closet door open to reveal Charles to everyone present. 


	2. Overwhelmed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We got the big reveal, time for the fallout. Charles is a whole mood. I love that for him. Or hate it. Max is just an idiot but at least there's Daniel. The end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so happy this got so much positive feedback! Thank you all so much for the kudos and comments. They made me beyond happy! Feel free to let me know what you think! Can this even be fixed?!

In any situation Charles loved being the center of attention. He was used to thousands of people watching his every move, judging his actions and commenting on them as they liked, but when he had only three familiar pairs of eyes focused on him in the tiny McLaren driver’s room, the stares felt like they were burning him to ashes. Setting every nerve ending on fire.  
Charles wanted to avoid looking at any of them directly while he pushed himself up to get out of his hiding place. Especially because the instinct to do that was so strong, he forced himself to do the opposite and meet Lando’s eyes dead on. He was not the one who should be ashamed after all. 

Being crouched into an awkward position at the bottom of the closet had cut off circulation to his right leg, so as soon as he got up and blood started to flow back, all Charles could feel for a minute was the stabbing pain of pins and needles from his hip all the way down to his toes. He kept his eyes locked on Lando while he waited around for his body to cooperate enough for him to walk without stumbling over his own feet. The pain helped to center him and it was a good distraction from his racing heart and the emptiness he felt inside where he expected to feel hurt instead. He had had enough experience with anger, sadness and despair to know those emotions would catch up with him soon enough. It was merely a slight delay. One he was grateful for, given his current company. It was better to confront those feelings far away from the people who caused them. 

Nobody said a single word. Lando’s face was turning red, clearly displaying how embarrassed he felt at being caught in this way. The blush was spreading unevenly from his neck all the way up to his cheeks. When Charles saw Lando’s eyes tear up, he wanted to chuckle at the irony but the sound got stuck in his throat, so he shifted his gaze over to Max instead. 

Max opened his mouth briefly, then closed it again. For how much he’d had to say before, he seemingly could not come up with any witty comeback now. The silence was deafening. Max was not the only one struggling with words. Thoughts were running through Charles’ head but none of the fragmented phrases made any sense to him. He urgently wanted to find a witty thing to say, a killer line to deliver that would cut Max down to the bone with ease but there was nothing he could bring himself to say. They were no longer in Karting and this was as far from a racing incident as it got. He did not have to stick around to debrief or make any statements. He had the power to end this. He was in control.

Charles could not stay for another second. He gave the slightest nod of his head and then tried to push his hands into the pockets of his jeans, going for casual. It was not working very well with how badly he was trembling. He hoped the tight smile he forced his lips was enough to distract from the tell-tale signs that he was not as unaffected as he was trying to lead on. Charles managed to awkwardly push past his fellow drivers in the crowded room and made his exit, head held high. 

***

“Congratulations, Lando. Well done,” Carlos stated, all the while staring at the door his Ferrari teammate had left ajar when he left. 

Lando angrily wiped at his eyes and shook his head as he let out a shaky breath he had not been aware he had been holding in previously.

“Don’t blame this all on me! What were you even doing here? Last I checked this is my driver’s room at McLaren and you were not invited! And if you were coming over, you didn’t need to bring your new friend at least!”

Max turned his head sharply to look at his friend and he made a cut-throat gesture at Lando behind Carlos’ back. This was all bad enough already, no need to make it worse with a needless argument he was destined to lose. There was nothing either of them could reasonably say in their defense after all. Playing the ‘but I didn’t know you were here!’ card was not the best way to go. Carlos seemed to agree, because he scoffed and threw his arms up to show how exasperated he was with Lando.

“I did not think you were serious with the jealousy about me going to Ferrari but this is outrageous, Lando! Why didn’t you just talk to me if you felt that way?!”

Despite it being an obviously rhetorical question, Lando looked like he was about to reply to it for a brief moment. Before he could say more though, Carlos already cut him off again.

“You know what? Doesn’t matter. I don’t even want to talk to you right now!”

With his parting statement Carlos left the room but it seemed like at least Lando was smart enough to chase after him and yell:

“That’s too bad because you are gonna talk to me right now!” 

The conversation became incomprehensible with Lando running to catch up with Carlos, voices fading into the background noise of a busy F1 hospitality. 

Max was left alone with Daniel and silence fell over the room once more. 

***

Charles cursed himself when he realized he forgot all about the pouring rain that had led to free practice being canceled to begin with. When he had arrived at McLaren with Carlos, they had left their umbrellas in a stand by the entrance. He had been so desperate to leave that he had just stormed out of the building without considering such details. His clothes had soaked through almost immediately but maybe it was for the better, since the warmer drops running down his face tasted a little salty. Without the guise of rain it might have been awkward with the media lurking to direct their cameras at him whenever they caught a glimpse.

Everything about this situation felt pathetic. In a way it was worse because Charles partially blamed himself for ever going along with Carlos and his stupid idea. Like he should have known he was not welcome, even though there was no plausible way for him to read Lando’s mind. As if he should somehow, magically be aware of how the younger driver thought about him and avoid getting himself into a position where he was confronted with the hatred.

Lost in thought, Charles was caught by surprise when he found he was standing outside the Aston Martin complex. A stocky security guard with an impressive beard recognized him and smiled politely while he tilted his head in question to ask if Charles wanted the door opened for him or not. 

_‘If only he weren’t so fucking clingy as well! I bet Seb is super happy to finally have his peace…’_

His feet had carried him to this destination on autopilot. Charles craved the comfort of someone he looked up to, the closest thing to a father figure he could think of at the moment. Someone who would put everything into perspective for him and give great advice and maybe mess up his hair a bit when he ruffled it affectionately. He ached for a kind, if exasperated smile, and a hug that would smell of expensive cologne and feel like home. And yet. What if Lando was right? What if Sebastian was happier without him? 

He blinked a few times as he looked up the small staircase to the front entrance. The guard was still waiting. Could he risk it? Would Seb be happy to see him? It was still early days in the new season and they were all extremely busy. Charles got his phone out to help with his decision making. He thumbed into his message thread with Seb to see that his last message to the other man had been sent the day before and left on read.

_‘Must be fucking exhausting to have Charles around all day, right?’_

He tucked the phone into his sleeve for easier access and took a step back. 

He thought about the past season, his last spent with Sebastian dressed in red. The best one yet, despite how badly it went overall. In terms of their relationship, Charles had felt like something had clicked. Maybe it was down to the shared misery over circumstances neither of them could change. Maybe they had just bonded over their shared, dark humor about the shitbox of a car they were trying to carry through the corners. No matter what, it had meant the world to Charles to feel like he had arrived at a good place with someone he idolized, to form a friendship and get respect and praise in return. He could not look at the helmet Seb had exchanged for his and read the message on it without getting goosebumps and feeling emotional.

_‘Personally, I think he looks dead in all the promotional photos…’_

Charles knew the same to be true for every picture of Sebastian from the last season.  
He was glowing in green now, the stress melting away visible for everyone who cared to see. In the footage with his new team, Seb was closer to his former, shiny self than he had been in years. Seb looked happier with Lance. Had he ever looked this way with Charles?  
He met the kind security worker’s eyes and briefly shook his head. He made up his mind and turned to leave. No, thanks. Not coming in.

***

In an attempt to get some physical distance to what Max secretly referred to as the ‘crime scene’ now, Daniel had taken him over to his own room. The logic was flawed, considering it was just a mirror image of Lando’s room but somehow it still helped a bit to flip the perspective and breathe easier. Seeing random items like Daniel’s headphones and notebooks lying around also helped Max feel more at ease. Even years on, he still felt close to his friend and the mess in the room was a familiar sight. It did wonders for Max to calm down.  
Daniel had jumped up on the massage bed straight away and he was sitting cross-legged, staring at Max with a pensive expression on his face. Max much preferred the easy, fond smiles he usually drew from Daniel just by being around. This was not the time though.

Countless apologetic words were on the tip of his tongue but Max stubbornly refused to say any of them. Part of him did not want to admit he had fucked up and the rest of him reminded him that Daniel was not primarily the person for him to apologize to. Dan knew him well, so eventually he sighed and spoke up first, knowing Max was too hard-headed to give in.

“I just want you to know that the only reason I didn’t punch you on behalf of Jules for doing this to Charles is because I know you and your story. So I am not choosing violence. You need to know that I want to though.”

The statement rang true and hurt more than Daniel actually punching him would have. That was likely the whole point of saying it. Max flinched.

“Fair enough, I guess. Why didn’t you punch Lando?”

The Australian shrugged and ran a hand through his curls while he considered the question.

“I still have to be on a team with him and make fun unboxed videos, right? I can just make sure his next hotel rooms magically have no functioning Wi-Fi. That’ll teach him.” 

Max snorted and glanced over to see if Dan joking around meant he was calming down a bit now. Dan caught his eye and the bright smile faded a bit again. 

“Max, seriously. You have got to stop with the self-sabotage. Your dad is no longer telling you who to be friends with. I’ve told you before, you need to talk to Charles and make peace with the past. And then from that base you can try and see if there is a way to take it further…”

Daniel reached over and tapped his shoulder a little to get his attention. Max had listened of course, it was just not getting any easier to hear the more times Daniel tried to talk sense into him.

“Fat chance of any of it happening now!” he retorted childishly. He knew how he looked. Arms crossed, petulantly looking everywhere but at his friend who was sincerely trying and being a better person than he had any right to be. Max wanted to resent Daniel for being this patient and persistent but how could he? How could anyone?

“Sorry I said you slept with him in Vegas. You didn’t, did you?”

Daniel rolled his eyes fondly and just smirked at Max for a full minute. 

“Wouldn’t you like to know?”

Max did not dignify Daniel’s question with a response beyond a small groan. He was a whole mess about everything and now everything had gotten infinitely more complicated. Crying was not something Max allowed himself to do a lot, so instead of giving in to the sinking feeling in his stomach, he tried to make light of the situation instead.

“Do you think Charles is more of a flower guy or do I send him chocolates?”

Daniel saw right through him and even though Max hoped his friend would let it slide, he still went in for the kill.

“Mate, right now you could send him both and I’m still not sure it’s anywhere close to making a difference.”

He was not as stupid as people liked to make him out to be, so Max had been aware of that fact. Hearing it spelled out for him so clearly still knocked the wind out of him. He tugged the sleeves of his hoodie down over his hands and tugged on a string that had come loose on the hem on the left side, blinking rapidly and wishing to turn back time as he did. Daniel pulled him in for a hug and the only relief Max got for the moment was the knowledge that despite having made a bigger mess of everything than he knew how to fix, at least he had kept one friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As usual you can always check out [my tumblr](https://socialite-xo.tumblr.com/) to see me lose my mind over how pretty Charles is and how unfair it is.


	3. Aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some hurt. Some comfort. You know how it goes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am overwhelmed and touched by all the attention this got so far! Thank you so much for all the comments and kudos! <3 It is so motivating!!

Charles walked around aimlessly for a while, successfully evading media staff by taking some less traveled footpaths around the track. He had turned on some music on his phone to drown out any outside noise and he was walking as fast as he possibly could without slipping and and falling to add insult to injury. The ground was muddy and his trainers were surely ruined beyond repair. It had not been his smartest choice to wear new, white shoes to begin with but then again he was not known for always making the right choices. Instead, he was seemingly known for other things he could not begin to explain. Admittedly, he liked to have a good time and flirting came quite easy to him but he had not done anything he could think of that could justify the kind of reputation he seemed to have among the drivers, if Lando and Max’s comments were anything to go by.

_‘A slut? Easy?’_

Thinking of the implications of those words helped Charles to finally stop sniffling pathetically and instead allow some anger to come to the surface. 

How dare he?! Who the hell did Max Verstappen think he was? He knew nothing at all about Charles and his private life. They may live in the same city but they were definitely not running in the same circles. In fact, people like Max were exactly the reason everyone kept calling him ‘tax haven french’ and completely disregarded the history and culture of his state.  
The sheer audacity! Max was the last person who was supposed to speak up and judge Charles on things he hadn’t even done.

Unlike certain other people, Charles had not been in any drunk pictures recently wearing a tacky shirt with _'DADDY' _printed across the chest. That had to say more about his sexual preferences than anything Charles had done. Ever. Talk about being ‘easy’.__

__He had not built up a reputation for getting with another driver’s ex-girlfriend and stirring up shit that way either._ _

__He had not, to his knowledge, put out a documentary in which he was caught on camera trying and failing to open his own apartment door because he was so out of it._ _

__He had not used any unforgiveable slurs on the team radio and then failed to see how he’d been wrong about them when the inevitable backlash followed immediately._ _

__He was not partying it up with the entire European DJ elite for fun any chance he got._ _

__He had not built up a reputation for being impossible to work with and giving teammates a hard time and expecting preferential treatment in the team. He’d accepted that Seb was Ferrari’s number one driver. Sure, that had turned around somehow. It was not because of him though. Something just went extremely wrong the year before but he had suffered, too. He had not demanded for it all to happen just so he would come out on top._ _

__Charles tried to please people but it was not to seduce them, he just genuinely wanted to make them happy and have a good time. He didn’t stream on twitch to get more people to slide into his DMs, he just liked knowing that the odd thousand viewers somehow felt entertained by his antics._ _

__Thinking of all the things he had on his list to throw back at Max was supposed to help Charles get over the dirty feeling he had not been able to shake since he heard Max call him a slut. It was not truly working out though._ _

__When he had completed the walk around the track, Charles still felt awful and he knew he would never bring up any of the things to Max face to face. All those things were hardly secrets and any fan account on the internet was prone to talk about them at length any given day. Having raced against Max for decades since the karting days, Charles had way more on Max. Charles knew a few things that he was certain would hurt Max immensely if he brought them up again. Things other people had witnessed as well. The thing was: Max had done nothing then to deserve them. It would be shitty to bring them up now just to retaliate. Charles needed to be the better person. He did not even wish it on Max to feel the way he was feeling now. He had spent enough time around Daniel that occasionally Max’s past had come up in conversation as well. Charles was not the kind of person to ever use that against Max though. He just could not bring himself to. It was not how he was raised._ _

__With a big sigh, Charles made his way back to the Ferrari hospitality. He sincerely hoped that by the time he got there, Carlos would have been in to get his things and gone back to the hotel to maybe get another indoor workout in. He did not know how to even talk to the other man, or look him in the eyes after all the things he had heard being said about Charles. So much for making friends with his teammate. He wished Seb never left. Surely he would have said something in Charles defense. Then again, with Seb still around, Charles never would have gotten himself into such a big mess._ _

__His phone vibrated in his sleeve and Charles got it out to glimpse at the screen. Pierre had sent a message, asking if he was okay. He considered giving an honest reply – it was Pierre after all._ _He finally replied with a thumbs up emoji though because what else was he to even say? He did not want to be a burden._ _

__

__Back at Ferrari HQ, it was a lot less busy than it would have been with the practice sessions going ahead. As far as Charles could tell, only the people who really still needed to be there were sticking around. He got a free nods and waves, was stopped a few times for small talk. In the end he was told to take a shower and get the hell out of his drenched clothes though. Nobody wanted him to catch his death and fuck up qualifying. The car would likely manage to do that even with him in mint condition, so they did not want to take any more chances.  
Charles turned the heat all the way up and still found himself shivering under the spray of water. He washed his hair and body thoroughly and then wrapped himself up in a towel. He felt like he had just run a marathon and so he sat down for a moment to catch his breath before he gathered enough energy to get dressed in dry clothes and find a ride back to the hotel. He grabbed his phone again and rolled his eyes when he saw that Pierre had sent another string of messages while he had been occupied. There were a few missed calls as well, not just from him. He could always go back to them later though. He opened his WhatsApp again and checked what Pierre had had to say._ _

__The first message was a screenshot of his Spotify page, listing the last tracks Charles had listened to on his walk. Like that meant anything._ _

__**Pierre Gasly:** ?????? AS IF!  
**Pierre Gasly:** Charles??  
**Pierre Gasly:** You were seen lurking outside Aston Martin??  
**Pierre Gasly:** SERIOUSLY. Daniel just called to ask if you were with me.  
**Pierre Gasly:** Carlos messaged me, too.  
**Pierre Gasly:** Come over, we need to talk!!  
**Pierre Gasly:** CHARLES????  
**Pierre Gasly:** Marc Hervé Perceval!!!!!!_ _

__Charles closed his burning eyes and waited for them to stop burning before opening them again to type out a quick reply. He did not want to worry his friend and it really was not anything unless he made it a big deal, right? Maybe he could just laugh it off and act like nothing happened around Carlos. He did not speak much to Max unless he had to, so he could keep that up and he would only have to avoid Lando. That could be a bit difficult but he would surely manage._ _

__**Charles Leclerc:** mon dieu… stop !! Room #??? Coming._ _

__

__They were all staying at the same hotel for a lack of other options that close to the circuit, so at least it was convenient to sneak off to Pierre’s room and maybe distract himself with a movie._ _

__Back at the hotel, Charles kept his head down and tried to get the signing for fans waiting around over with as quickly as possible. He smiled when he was expected to and took a photo with everyone who wanted one before making his apologies, quoting a workout session to make up for the canceled practice. He had no intention to work out again but it got people to let him leave without trying to engage him into more conversation._ _

__As soon as his things were dropped off at his room, he left again to find Pierre. He felt his stomach turn at the thought that possibly Alpha Tauri and Red Bull would have their rooms on the same floor but he tried to tell himself that surely they would give their number one driver a room further up for a better view. With the treatment of Pierre so far, Charles figured everything above ground floor was a big improvement. One more reason to despise Max._ _

__As soon as he had knocked on the nondescript door with the right numbers attached in bronze lettering, he was pulled inside and wrapped into a tight hug that made it a bit hard to breathe._ _

__“I’m okay,” Charles tried to say again but Pierre shushed him immediately._ _

__“Shh. More hugging!”_ _

__Charles had passively accepted the hug but when he was prompted, he reluctantly lifted his arms so he could wrap them around Pierre’s body in return. His heart was beating rapidly and it had nothing to do with the short walk from the elevator to the corner room Pierre was residing in. He still felt cold inside, so the warmth he could now feel radiating off his best friend was more than welcome. Charles melted into the embrace and hid his face in the soft fabric of the sweatshirt Pierre had chosen to wear to lounge in his room._ _

__Charles did not attempt to let go again. He clung to Pierre as if his life depended on it and tried to calm himself down enough so he would not look like a complete mess when they pulled away again. As soon as he did, he would have to face his friend and try to assure him everything was good. He still did not want to talk and drag Pierre into this if he did not have to. It was a curse and a blessing that Pierre knew him so well that it was almost impossible for Charles’ plans to work out. Just like Charles could sense whenever Pierre was annoyed or even remotely upset about anything, Pierre could always tell the same in return just by the way Charles typed out a message or the tone he used on the phone. Friends for life were not as easy to fool as people who got paid to be around and cater to every mood one could be in._ _

__He was so lost inside his own head again that Charles barely noticed that Pierre had somehow shifted them both over to the bed. He made Charles sit down and then put the blanket around Charles’ shoulders to wrap it around him like he was somehow traumatized and had to wait for his rescue in one of those silver and gold foil blankets after a crash. He liked the white hotel comforter much better and there were no cameras on him now. Mentally, he did not feel much better than he would have in the post-crash scenario though._ _

__“How much do you know?” Charles finally brought himself to ask.  
His voice was a bit hoarse but he got the sentence out without hiccups, so that was a start. _ _

__Pierre got back on the bed with him and sat down next to him, pulling him in to lean against Pierre’s shoulder. He had somehow managed to make a bottle of water appear out of thin air and he offered it to Charles, cap screwed off already for his convenience._ _

__“Not much. Carlos just wanted to know if you were with me and Daniel said there was some sort of fight maybe? Something with you and Max and Lando, things being said. He did not go into detail, just said to ask you and to let him know when I was with you,” Pierre explained while he monitored Charles’ drinking.  
Always keep hydrated, right?_ _

__Charles laughed but the sounds came out all wrong, even to his own ears. He kept kneading the fabric of the covers on the bed with his left hand as he tried to find the right words to relay to Pierre what had happened without giving away how shaken up he was about it. It was a lost battle from the start because Pierre knew best that no matter what criticism was voiced about him, Charles would always take it personally and agonize over it for ages before he managed to let it go and move on._ _

__“Do you think I only got to where I am because Nicolas has been rooting for me?”_ _

__Pierre narrowed his eyes and shook his head in disbelief. “The fuck?” he inquired._ _

__To Charles, his friend always looked about as threatening as a kitten but he could see how to other people, Pierre looked ready to commit murder first and ask questions later._ _

__“I mean. Am I just a mediocre driver with a sob story? Because that is something I heard today… Among other things…”_ _

__Charles trailed off and kept his eyes trained on the water bottle as he swished the liquid inside around a little to keep busy. He thought about everyone he had lost, all the bleeding wounds inside of him he did not think would ever heal. Would anyone care about him as a person and driver if his story was not _‘tragic’_ enough to raise interest? He would trade everything he had if he could only bring back one of the people he had lost, for even a minute. He did not care about racing that much, in comparison. He heard a sharp intake of breath next to him and then tried not to let out a noise when the squeeze on his arm hardened enough to be a bit painful._ _

__“I am going to kill them, Charles. I am going to kill them all.”_ _


	4. Insomnia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sleep won't come easy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't begin to tell you how happy I am about your reactions! You make my whole week with your responses, no kidding. 🥰 Thank you all so, so much. I can only repay you in new chapters, so here we go!

Talking to Daniel had helped Max to calm down a little but even when he had returned to the hotel and decided to end the day early, he could not successfully shut his brain off and unwind. 

He had tried everything from texting some friends back home to running himself a bath, using the flowery scented salt the hotel provided. He had tried to jerk off to his go-to clips on pornhub and when that hadn’t worked and his thoughts kept drifting off to Charles and his shaking hands and drawn shoulders and how impossibly sad he had looked before he had left, Max had finally given up on that line of thinking completely. He couldn’t get in the mood if he kept wondering if Charles was alright and if he had trouble sleeping as well. 

Entirely done with the shitty day he had had, sleeping was what Max had tried first, of course.  
He had tossed and turned and tried out about a million different positions to get comfortable but either jetlag was still playing a trick on him or the pillows were too fluffy or the blanket was too thin. No matter the reasons, the end result boiled down to the same outcome: Sleep was not happening.

So he had sighed and mindlessly stared at some infomercials on the television instead to numb his brain enough to drift off eventually. Not that he understood the language. After twenty minutes of watching the same footage on repeat, he was still convinced that the plastic tent ‘sauna’ they were trying to sell sounded like a good investment of $59.99. Maybe he could get Charles one of those. He took a short video and sent the idea off to Dan before he charged it to his credit card. They were about to introduce a 2-for-1 limited time deal after all.

He got a voice message back that had the Australian laughing at his expense for the first minute and fifty-two seconds and then he had added his opinion:

“Mate, don’t do that! Lando ran his mouth about some sauna story and George, right? If you send this to Charles as an apology, he will hate you more, you idiot! Go to fucking sleep!”

Max felt his heart sink and he nearly threw his phone at the wall. Why did Daniel have to be right about everything? As soon as he was reminded about Lando’s involvement in the whole mess, Max got up and pulled on some clothes to go and wake up his friend. If he could not get any sleep over this, then the instigator was not allowed to rest and sleep like a baby while Max dealt with concepts like ‘guilt’ that he had spent his lifetime trying to avoid feeling.

The thing was, Lando was not that callous himself. He was a sensitive guy and Max was aware he had only needed to vent a bit earlier, somehow get the ugly, pent-up jealousy out of his system that had been building up ever since Carlos had been announced as the new driver for Ferrari. It was very likely that somewhere in this hotel, Lando was just as miserable. Being miserable together was still better than everything Max had come up with so far to distract himself.

It was not too hard to get Lando’s room number from Daniel, so Max jogged down two flights of stairs and followed the hallways down until he got to the right wing of the hotel. Max checked his phone again and found he had no new messages. It was later than expected but he decided to follow through anyway kicked the door a few times instead of knocking. He needed Lando to wake up and if the neighboring rooms were disturbed by his antics, well than that was their problem.

It took a while and a few more well-aimed kicks at the door until he finally heard noises that indicated someone was moving around inside the room and walking over to see who was disturbing them at this time of night. Max smirked and waited with his arms crossed over his chest. 

“What the –“

Max had been expecting a sleepy and possibly pissed-off Lando to stick his face through the tiny crack when he opened the door but instead Max found himself facing Carlos instead. 

“Shhhh! What do you want?” he inquired with his accent coming through thicker.   
His hair was all messed up and he was wearing one of Lando’s hoodies. It fit him perfectly, where it was oversized on Lando’s tiny frame. His eyes were squinting at the bright spotlights in the hallway and the room behind him seemed to be entirely dark.

“I—Nevermind. I guess it’s safe to say you kissed and made up then?”

Max raised an eyebrow and he found it impossible to wipe the grin off his face. Good for Lando, after all. Who would have thought?

“It is none of your business,” Carlos pointed out and glared at Max like he was a bug flying around him with a buzz that needed to be killed on the spot. 

“Hey, I was not judging. Congratulations!”

Carlos rolled his eyes at that and tried to close the door on him but Max had quicker reflexes and he pushed the door open a bit more.

“Wait!” he demanded. “Before I go – we are good, right?”

As soon as the words were out, Max mentally kicked himself. Asking this type of thing just made him look insecure, like he cared what Carlos thought of him. He did not! He did not care what anyone thought of him. This was how he got to where he was after all. 

“Are you serious right now? Did you hit your head? Do you have a concussion? Do you have trouble remembering the past twelve hours?”

Max pressed his lips together to form a tight line and he folded his arms again because he looked more intimidating if he could flex his muscles. 

“No. Which is why I know you have no business being this way! As far as you are concerned, Lando said more about you than I did. Whatever issues your teammate has with me now is none of your concern! But Charles is the only one who has any right to resent me for today.”

Carlos scoffed and brought up his hands in a mock-defensive gesture.

“Oooh, right! Only for today? Listen, you better fix this!”

It became clear that Carlos had nothing good to add to the conversation, so Max was done with it. Whatever history he had with a certain Monegasque driver, this was not the time to resolve all of that and drag it back to the surface when it had been nicely buried before.

“I do what I want. Newsflash: Charles is a big boy, he can suck it up! I don’t care at all.” 

Somehow his plans to strategize with Lando for the best way to make it up to Charles left his mind the second Carlos ordered Max around and tried to force him to do it. If he apologized now, it would only look like he did it because he was told to. Carlos remained silent and just stared, so Max got the last word.

“Screw. You. I don’t owe anyone anything! I’m not apologizing to him.”

With that, Max turned on his heel and left.

***

“I know you are still awake,” Pierre softly whispered into Charles’ ear as he pulled him in closer and cuddled him like a toddler would a stuffed animal.

It had not been a conscious decision to stay with his best friend but Charles had not found the energy to leave again and Pierre was fussing, so Charles had let himself be tucked into bed eventually. Pierre had spooned him and neither one of them found anything wrong with it. They had known each other for ages; before the success and the riches. It had been extremely common for them to share twin beds – be it on vacation with their parents or visiting each other and staying in their childhood bedrooms. It was comforting. Familiar.

“Why are you still up?” Charles asked in return. He did not bother to whisper but his voice still came out lower than he was used to. “We are driving later today. Get some rest.”

Pierre took an audible breath and let it out again. Charles knew all the tiny ways to tell what mood Pierre was in and this was just him circling back to his earlier anger with full intention of giving Max a black eye or two. Lando as well.

_‘Must be fucking exhausting to have Charles around all day, right?’_

Charles had told Pierre everything he had overheard and the longer he went on explaining, the more he had to physically hold on to Pierre so he would stay and take care of him instead of storming off and forcing a confrontation he had no right to initiate.

“I don’t want you to fight my battles,” Charles had insisted. He was not pleading with Pierre, he was just clearly stating the fact he knew to be true.   
Predictably, Pierre listened. It was hard for him, that much Charles knew. He respected his wishes regardless.

“It would not only be your battle, actually. Who the hell does Lando think he is? First he starts shit with me over some random girl in Dubai that he thinks he had dibs on and now this hissy fit over Carlos? You want nothing to do with him! That’s outrageous!”

Charles chuckled and shook his head. He did not find amusement in Lando’s lack of self-confidence but Pierre was adorable when he was flustered.

“So do you want to confront Lando over his beef with you about the girl or is my knight in shining dark blue and white armor defending my virtue?”

If he was honest with himself, Charles was not entirely in the mood to joke around but he wanted to make Pierre think he was over the worst of it and getting better. He did not need to worry the poor man. Pierre had been through enough himself.

“Two birds, one stone.”

The petulant response made Charles laugh.

“Angry birds?”

Charles was shaking again but this time it was because Pierre tickled him to retaliate for his ridiculous comment.  
He only stopped when they were both out of breath and Charles begged for him to stop. Just like old times.

“You have no virtue to defend but that doesn’t give Lando the right to call you a slut. Or Max for that matter…” 

Pierre added the second part of his statement in a low voice, as though he was itching to say it but still hoping Charles would somehow not hear it.   
The way Pierre tried to step around in this minefield was truly honorable.

“You can say his name. I won’t break because Max Verstappen did another thing to prove how much he hates me for no fucking reason. We have been over this how many times before now?”

Charles had let Pierre go on and on about Lando for the better part of the evening but now, cuddled close in the dark with a fluffy blanket protecting Pierre and Charles from the outside world, it was easier to discuss the elephant in the room. Maybe that was exactly what Charles had come here for in the first place.

“Exactly. We have discussed this so many times before but it always ends with you getting angry at me for pointing out the obvious.”

Charles sighed and turned in Pierre’s arms so he could glare it him and not stare at the blank wall beside the bed in the dark.

“Suggesting we have been fighting since karting because there is supposedly too much sexual tension is not ‘the obvious’, Pierre!”

The room was dark but their eyes had adjusted enough to the surroundings that Charles could make out that Pierre was smirking at him. Smug bastard.

“Isn’t it? I mean, did you not say he called you pretty?”

Charles hurt when he recalled what had been said. Maybe he should have left this well alone.

“That is not what happened. The exact words he said were _‘Too pretty and knows it and uses it to his advantage’_ and that was not in a complimentary context. Lando outright asked him if he thought I was pretty and he said I look dead in Ferrari promotional pictures!”

With how fast his heart was pounding inside his ribcage, Charles knew he was getting more and more agitated but it could not be helped whenever he was forced to talk about Max. He always tried to go for a diplomatic answer but he had feelings, too. With Pierre, he was allowed to let them out. Only with Pierre. He was safe here.

Careful, gentle hands reached out and soon Pierre’s fingers were gently running through Charles’ hair in a comforting gesture. 

“You focus on all the wrong parts. First thing: Max is right about Ferrari, you know? They are really doing you dirty with the photos. And second of all: He did admit you were pretty. Forget the part where he thinks you are too aware of it and supposedly use it.”

Charles sighed and shook his head, even when it made Pierre tug on his hair in a somewhat painful manner because the sudden movement caught him by surprise.

“No, he was bitter because he thinks I slept with Dan in Vegas. He just hates me and he said all these things… And he did not contradict anything Lando said, so he agreed with every bit of it. All that stuff about me sucking FIA dick all day… Seb being happy to be away from me… Being a mediocre driver. Using bad things that happened to me to get sympathy…”

Pierre tugged on his hair again but this time Charles was sure it was deliberate to get him to shut up and yelp instead. He did.

“Do you want to talk about Seb? Why you went to see him at Aston Martin but then didn’t?”

The tone Pierre used was one big contradiction to the violent action before. He was speaking in a low, soothing voice. He was impossibly gentle, like he was talking down to a wounded animal to get it to allow treatment. Charles bit down hard on his bottom lip and shook his head. He felt cold and clammy. This was not going to help, just make him feel worse again. He wanted to turn back time just a few minutes and feel giddy about a lame video game joke.

“No… I can’t.”

Pierre sighed and finally moved again so he could pull his friend back into a tight embrace. 

“Alright. Then I suggest we try again to get at least three, maybe four good hours of sleep so you can show them all that your driving is nowhere near mediocre, alright?”

Charles closed his eyes and nodded. He was tired. So, so tired. With Pierre he was safe. Just like any time before in his life, he could try to leave a bad day behind him and start over again. Prove himself. He owed it not just to himself to keep trying and so he would.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No characters were (physically) hurt in the making of this chapter. I hope you are not too disappointed about that.

**Author's Note:**

> You can also talk to/yell at me on [tumblr](https://socialite-xo.tumblr.com/) if you want. Any and all feedback is appreciated.


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